When it comes to relationships, it is important that they are kept in healthy states. Sometimes, a lot of bad signs go unnoticed especially if one is dating a guy who is that manipulative, controlling type. These guys will seem like they are always right during your weakest moments, but actually, they do and say things favoring themselves instead of you. Here are 10 warning signs you should look out for if you think you are in a controlling relationship.
Probably the number one sign of a controlling relationship starts with narcissism. If this guy is so full of it, seeing himself as this god put on Earth that blesses you with his presence, he will feel entitled to always have his way. Because he’s just so crazy amazing right?! He deserves all the praise in the world just for being with you!
If this guy does things to benefit himself 100% of the time instead of looking out for your well being, then it is a big sign of a controlling relationship. Part of what makes a relationship is the willingness to put someone else’s needs, wants, and mental state in front of yours! It’s the self-LESS-ness that should be present and not the other way around.
3. “You Won’t Find Anyone Better”
This is a line controlling guys LOVE to use to get their way. When scaring you with this though, you often go thinking, “oh man, maybe he is right…I should probably stick to him because he is so good to me and I won’t find anyone better than that”. Well let me tell you something, let’s hope you won’t! You don’t want a guy who will tell you that, he should be proud and thankful that YOU chose to be with him!
4. Making You Reliant Upon Him
A controlling guy will do everything in his power to make sure that you feel like you won’t survive without him. If he makes you feel like you need him to do certain things, or if he is babying you into feeling like you’re not in control of your life or decisions, it could be a potential sign of a controlling relationship.
5. Constant Criticism
If he is constantly criticizing you and the way you think, look, act, feel, etc., then this is a major sign that you are in a controlling relationship. If what he says to you makes you feel worse about yourself instead of better, then he is not a good guy to be around. Controlling men think that they are the best all the time which is why everything that you do will be thought of as needing improvement.
6. Putting You Down
Controlling guys want you to think that because they are so great, you will be willing to work harder to keep them. If they constantly put you down and make you feel smaller, dumber, less successful etc., then this is not a loving, equal relationship. That is the whole point of their game; they want you to feel grateful having them instead of the other way around.
7. You Are Always To Blame
When something goes wrong, you are always to blame. You are wrong. You are overreacting. You are the reason for the problem. Controlling guys will always put the blame on you because they think it is just impossible for them to be wrong. If everything is always your fault and one-sided, run away girl because you are in a bad, controlling relationship.
8. Conditional Love
“You would be hotter with your hair like this”. “If you weren’t so judgmental, I would like you more”. “You would look better if you worked out more”. “You should put more of an effort so that my friends would like you more”. These are just some examples that controlling guys will pull to make you feel like you need to earn their love and affection. The message is pretty clear: you are not good enough thus they expect certain conditions. “I will love you more IF…”.
9. The Guilt Card
Controlling guys love pulling the guilt card on their partner. If they make you feel like you are guilty of something, you will get scared and try your hardest to please them. Typical examples are: threats of breaking up, scolding, getting mad at the littlest things etc. Controlling people crave power and are great manipulators thus will do anything to make sure you are the submissive one doing everything in their favor.
10. His Point Of View > Yours
Controlling people don’t see a relationship as a two-way street; they only want you to be more like them and their opinion is always the right one and the one that matters. If you feel like anything you say is automatically shut down or unheard, this is a big sign of a controlling relationship. If you ever tried to give them feedback on how they make you feel and they just don’t listen or turn it around on you, it clearly means that your thoughts and feelings don’t matter to them.
Controlling relationships are super messy and dangerous, so whenever you see the signs, it is important to address them right away. What are some other signs that girls can look out for?